Marrying Your Best Friend

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

Yesterday, Lowell and I celebrated 2 years of marriage.

I wanted to post this then but I ran out of time… as I will explain further down.

So before I start, I want to give you the facts/dates about our relationship:

We became good friends the Summer of 2009.

We started dating July 8, 2013.

We got engaged December 15, 2013.

 We got married June 21, 2014.

We bought our first house September 30, 2014 and moved in October 29, 2014.

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Wedding Picture.

Two Years ago Yesterday, I said “I do” to my wonderful husband! It has been a roller coaster ride, filled with love and laughter, as well as tears and sadness. Through it all, God has provided for us; watching over us and guiding us as husband and wife. We have overcame many obstacles together and came out stronger than before.

Two years doesn’t really seem like a long time. It’s not really. However, so much has happened to us as a couple in the past two years. I wanted to write this blog post to let you know what I have learned as a wife of two years. Two years ago yesterday, I stood aside Lowell in front of my friends and family and vowed to love and cherish, support and care for him for the rest of my life. We took a two week honeymoon, visiting many fun places including Nashville, TN and Orange Beach, AL. AND then we came back to reality. SO here we go…

Two years in and here is what we (I) have learned so far (in no particular order)::

  1. The honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. It doesn’t even last as long as you want it to. It stays around for a little after you get back and it makes going back to real life difficult. I mean, last week, you were laying on a beach, getting tan and jumping waves and this week, you have to work?! How is that fair? A little while after we got back, we were at Sears getting a TV (We got gift cards for Sears) and the manager was helping us. He looked over at us after awhile and asked “Did you just get married?” We laughed and said that we had. He said he could tell because we were still acting like we had a honeymoon buzzz. As married couples, shouldn’t we be so silly in love that we act like we are still in the honeymoon stage?
  2. Marriage is NOT always sitting on the beach with a fruity drink in your hand and your feet up taking it easy. Marriage is amazing but it is not always easy. Once you get back into the swing of being home and living with a new person. Getting used to living in a house with someone you have never lived with and sharing a bed when you haven’t shared a bed with anyone for almost ten years is crazy. I always slept in the middle of my bed and when you are sharing a bed with someone, you can’t really do that. And there are bills and expenses and keeping up with the house. Some weeks you live paycheck to paycheck. It is difficult, but I think it is a blessing is disguise. It has taught me that I only need the necessities and I can’t go out on a shopping spree whenever I want.
  3. Buying a house is stressful! Let me say that again… BUYING A HOUSE IS STRESSFUL! We started looking at houses the fall before we were even engaged. Lowell was looking and I went along because we knew where we were headed in life. Now, I am the type of person that gets my heart set on something and then when it falls through, my heart breaks. So looking at houses was one heart break after another. We were find a cute house and look at it online and go see it and I would love it. BUT my sweet husband, the practical one, would be looking around to see what all he would have to do and how much time and money it would take to make it move-in-ready. Buying a house is stressful because even if you both love it, there is a chance someone else is willing to pay more money than you and they will get that house. I would look around and be like oh this a cute house and blah blah and whatnot.. girl stuff. Lowell looks at a house and wants a basement and a big yard and a garage and blah blah.. guy stuff. Our realtor through the whole process was a blessing. She would tell us what she thought houses were worth and be really honest with us. She was like a mom to us the year or so we looked at houses. Once you finally find the right house, you have to paint and fix up anything that needs fixed and FINALLY it is time to move in. And if you are like me, you are sitting on the kitchen floor wondering how you came by so much stuff and not knowing where to put bowls and towels and all the stuff that you don’t know why you have.

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    Our House the day we got it. Much has changed.

  4. Husbands are dreamers and here is why this didn’t get posted yesterday! Maybe all men are dreamers. And so are women. But Lowell’s dreams are projects. I was lying in bed last week and he was in another room and he says “Hey babe. I found my next project.” Now obviously I have heard this before. So I sigh, and put my face in the pillow and smile. “What is it?” SO he shows me pictures of a truck. MIND YOU, we just bought a truck less than a month ago and it is in nicer-ish shape than this new truck. But it was cheap and I told Lowell if he was serious to message the guy and see whats up. So yesterday, we drove almost 5 hours to a place near Kent, Ohio to pick up a truck. It’s moment like that where I just laugh and enjoy the time with him because he is doing things he loves and that is okay with me.

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    Looking back at the sunset last night

  5. Just like everyone else, we each have our own strengths and weaknesses. And just like everyone else, our vary. We balance each other out, or I like to think that we do. Lowell is patient with almost anyone, except when it comes to peoples driving skills. He is kind and caring. He is street smart. He knows how to do his job very well, which takes a lot of training and practicing. He has been helping his dad farm for years, he works on his truck and he can fix many things around the house for me. I sometimes underestimate his abilities and that is one of my weaknesses. He is a good teacher when it comes to his job and trucks. I kept asking him questions yesterday about this new gauge thingy he got that I knew absolutely nothing about. He was explaining it and knew all about it. He lets me help him fix the truck and has been teaching to me to drive combines and tractors. Last week, I was riding in the tractor with him, planting corn when he stands up and told me I was planting this row.. So I apologized later to his dad for the not at all straight rows of corn. Lowell is not a social person where I am. He will stand beside me as I talk to people I know. I like to think that He has been becoming more outgoing since we have been married. I am more book smart than he is and that is ok with us. I help him out where he needs it and vice versa. Balanced. 🙂
  6. Now I wanna talk a bit about family. Marrying someone means gaining a whole other family. Lowell is the only guy in his family and has 5 sisters. Yes, 5 sisters and no brothers. It definitely was intimidating for awhile. It is just something that takes awhile until you are comfortable being around then without him. Without a doubt, you accept each other families no matter what.  I am an Oyler; we are known to be crazy. Lowell has found that out in the two years of being married to me as well as the time we spent dating. But it has become more and more true as the years go by. At the beginning of our marriage, we were dealing with some family issues. Now when you are trying to start a marriage and then you add the stress and weight of family members to all that, your stress level skyrockets. Our first year of marriage was stressful. Family is family though. We always love them and support them.
  7. As a couple, you are going to disagree. That’s just how it is. I don’t think every couple sees eye to eye on every single thing. Honestly, I think that that is how God made us and He puts us with someone who will help us realize more than we can by ourselves. Things Lowell and I disagree on… how much salt to put on food, how to run the dryer, bedtimes. Silly stuff for the most part. I like Chinese.. He does not. I don’t like some food that he does.. like scrapple..! ugh, yuck! Disagreeing is part of marriage and as long as you agree on the important things, those small disagreements don’t matte much.
  8. Lowell is a service tech on milking machinery, specializing on Lely robots. He is around farms and cows all day. So the smell that comes along with farms and cows comes into our house. What I am saying is, that is a normal smell nowadays. He has to go to Canada or Iowa every two years for special robot training. It’s a week long, with classes every day and a test on Friday. They are complicated machines with a lot going on and takes a patient, smart guy to work on them. That’s Lowell. Now a couple (like a lot) of summers back, I was in Ohio with a friend. We went down to her grandpas farm to milk cows. This was a normal parlor and it was awful! I hated it. Said I would NEVER go to a place like that again! Irony is a funny thing. God was probably laughing, thinking “If you only knew.”  I have been to so many different types of farms in the past two years and learned so much about milking machinery that it is kinda funny. I go and help Lowell on service calls. Now He tells me that cows are more afraid of me than I am of them.. Let me tell you something; when something weighs 1000 pounds more than you, you have the right to to be more afraid of t than it of you. Lowell laughs at me. Robots run 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. So making plans is always a iffy thing. At any time during the day or night, Lowell can get a call and have to go. If they break down at 2AM, Lowell goes at 2AM. He loves his job and that makes me happy.

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    Robot Farm Lowell Works at with cows that try to kill me

  9. When you have known someone for as long as Lowell and I have known each other, you know pretty much everything about each other. He can tell what I am thinking even when I am saying nothing at all. He tells me not to worry, even though He knows I will worry about him. He knows what to do when I am sad to make me happy. He knows when chocolate is appropriate (always.. right?!) I know when he is worried about something or tired or frustrated. We know each others favorite foods and songs and music and places to go and things to do.
  10. Finally and THIS IS THE BEST! God is part of our relationship. When God is part of your relationship, He is there in the good and bad times. He has brought us to many amazing places and watched over us through it all. He has brought us to an amazing church and gave us amazing family and friends that have supported us through the past 2 years. He has always provided for us in every season of our life together. He brought Lowell and I together and has taken us to many wonderful places together. I am so thankful for the past two years and I look forward to what God has for our future.

So We have learned that it is not always fun and easy times but the good times outweigh the bad times and the laughter is better than the tears. Through it all, we have had an amazing support system from our families and friends and abundant blessings showering down from God.

“Dear God, I pray for my marriage right now. Please guard my relationship with my husband and protect us against elements that tempt or taunt us to ruin what we have. Convict our hearts when we are wrong or unrighteous, fill us with a passion to get better, and bless us with a deep love for each other in Jesus name, AMEN!” {Author unknown}

If I know anything, it is that I love this guy more today than I did that day when I thought I couldn’t love him anymore. Happy 2 years, baby! I love you!

p.s. Tomorrow we will have had Diesel for one year! YAY! Here is a cute picture of baby Diesel!

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Cute baby Diesel

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